Be with people who find you attractive

As an "ageing homosexual" recently turned 60 I find myself  becoming more and more invisible in the youth obsessed English speaking cultures I know. There have been a number of recent scarring events when some of my close gay friends ignored me in the pursuit of the younger and prettier.

Thankfully this is not the same in Latin and Asian countries or even in Europe generally.

This picture was taken by a 21 old female artist friend Morgan on a jaunt to Vicenza last summer.  

I couldn't contrast this more highly with the warm welcome I have received in recent catch ups with my school and university friends, all of them straight.

I am going to move towards kindness as the Sufi poet Rumi recommends and I will find people who find me attractive to be with, whatever their age, gender or orientation. 

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The New Testament is a Suicide Note

One of the secondary students I taught yesterday had a look at my studio and asked- "are you religious?  " and then last night I had a dream.
I am looking at an old church,  I am outside and opposite is a door I am looking at.  I can see some type of electronic eye between the door and the door frame. Someone tells me that if I  go in, I will set off an explosive device and I might be killed or wounded. .

 I am not sure what to do,  I am happy to observe from the outside and I don't put pressure on myself to go in ..  in a moment of clarity I feel I know what is inside the church - there are suicide notes in there

Today reflecting  on the dream I  realise the New Testament is one long suicide note. I have many friends who are gay and committed Catholics and its difficult to admit I am not one of them

 It is a gruesome story about a father who conceives a son only to have him killed in the prime of his life . It is a horror story where everyone the Son  loves and he himself is complicit in a bizarre plot to have him killed. 

There is a deep belief in out society that young men should be sacrificed for the good of the tribe, race, religion or nation 

Three years ago I travelled through Morocco with a lovely couple -she was Irish he was Australian . Their only son had been killed serving in the Australian Army in Afghanistan - overcome by the sheer depth of their grief I could not offer any words of consolation.

I see how readily politicians offer up our sons -and now our daughters- to fight in overseas wars thousands of miles from our borders . Why do we allow them to do it ? Patriarchal myths from Christianity to ANZAC make us think its right and proper. As a father of two sons I know its obscene. Religions and artists who work for them glorify the shameful willingness of the patriarchy to sacrifice its own sons